So I have retired my Facebook status series, Memoirs & Recollections, and here it is, the final volume of my beloved series. I wish I had more ideas to keep this going, but I'm spent. Until I have decent ideas again, they shall remained retired.
Memoirs & Recollections - VOLUME 4 - Kenny Scheck once…For the Last Time!
Kenny Scheck once led the U.S. Armed forces. I lead them right into the Dairy Queen for an Ice Cream Social. That was a good Ice Cream Social...I should call them up. Do it again some time.
Kenny Scheck once golfed a 300 in bowling games. I sport...from time to time.
Kenny Scheck once joined twitter just to figure it out. Oh wait that’s actually happening right now. No offense to Derek, but twitter is gay.
Kenny Scheck once killed a guy. No for realsies. He tried to rip off my bit, and I just couldn't let that go.
Kenny Scheck once built a llama. Not like a robot llama, but like an actual llama. I built it out of organs and hair. I eventually had to kill it to feed my poor hungry family. So that is the origin of my llama fur coat.
Kenny Scheck once met Tom Arnold. Not doing that again.
Kenny Scheck once was cast as "Uncle Phil" in the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Eventually the Producers decided to go in another direction.
Kenny Scheck once got big laughs by recycling old jokes that had originally made me popular. Oh, by the way, I once met Tom Arnold, and I'm not going to do THAT again! (hold for applause).
Kenny Scheck once had a pretty good gig on television. I didn't work hard for it, and it kinda just fell in my lap. I felt kinda bad, twenty years later, that it kind of hurt the guy that did work hard for it. So I decided to kick and scream like a baby after pretending to smoothly hand it over to the next guy. I like to hurt people for this television gig. It's a sweet gig!
Kenny Scheck once hid in a closet to find out which of my bosses liked me, and which did not. I was saddened by the results.
Kenny Scheck once invented the "Hammer".
Kenny Scheck once stayed in for the evening. It was a Tuesday, I believe.
Kenny Scheck once rode a roller coaster and got sick.
Kenny Scheck once met Greg Hartsfeldt. Remember Greg Hartsfeldt? Whatever happened to Greg Hartsfeldt?
Kenny Scheck once swam across the English Channel. I don't see what the big hullabaloo is.
Kenny Scheck once had a love child with Julia Child. Child's child we called it. Then we left it in some back alley or something, I don't know get off my back.
Kenny Scheck once lived in Boston, MA. Weird that nothing really happened in that 4-year stretch.
Kenny Scheck once killed a drifter. Cleaning up after him was a real bitch...I mean...was this guy MADE of blood? (Ben Tremaglio and Austin Jay will be joining him if they don't leave my gimmick alone).
Kenny Scheck once played an extra on the Golden Girls. Lets just say things got a little...weird.
Kenny Scheck once paid the pizza delivery guy in crack. I haven't seen that same delivery guy since.
Kenny Scheck once called Freddley Starfmark in Human Resources Tom by mistake. We all had a real good laugh that day I can tell you!
Kenny Scheck once played a villain on the 'Batman' television series, which aired on ABC from 1966-1968. I played 'The Varnisher," who varnished wood...evil wood.
Kenny Scheck once got stranded on a deserted island. 15 minutes later they found me, which was good, because I don't if I could have survived alone on a deserted island.
Kenny Scheck once spent 3 months 12 days living with Gorillas in an African jungle. Gorillas know how to live baby!
Kenny Scheck once got nominated for Best Picture at the Oscars. Apparently anything can be!
Kenny Scheck once got sworn in as President of the United States for about two minutes before they realized Johnson was in the toilet. Most successful Presidency ever.
Kenny Scheck once retired to Shady Oaks Home for the Inevitably Dying. A good chunk of my time was spent waiting for my kids to call, but I also wrote these memoirs there. Before dying.
Memoirs & Recollections - VOLUME 4 - Kenny Scheck once…For the Last Time!
Kenny Scheck once led the U.S. Armed forces. I lead them right into the Dairy Queen for an Ice Cream Social. That was a good Ice Cream Social...I should call them up. Do it again some time.
Kenny Scheck once golfed a 300 in bowling games. I sport...from time to time.
Kenny Scheck once joined twitter just to figure it out. Oh wait that’s actually happening right now. No offense to Derek, but twitter is gay.
Kenny Scheck once killed a guy. No for realsies. He tried to rip off my bit, and I just couldn't let that go.
Kenny Scheck once built a llama. Not like a robot llama, but like an actual llama. I built it out of organs and hair. I eventually had to kill it to feed my poor hungry family. So that is the origin of my llama fur coat.
Kenny Scheck once met Tom Arnold. Not doing that again.
Kenny Scheck once was cast as "Uncle Phil" in the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Eventually the Producers decided to go in another direction.
Kenny Scheck once got big laughs by recycling old jokes that had originally made me popular. Oh, by the way, I once met Tom Arnold, and I'm not going to do THAT again! (hold for applause).
Kenny Scheck once had a pretty good gig on television. I didn't work hard for it, and it kinda just fell in my lap. I felt kinda bad, twenty years later, that it kind of hurt the guy that did work hard for it. So I decided to kick and scream like a baby after pretending to smoothly hand it over to the next guy. I like to hurt people for this television gig. It's a sweet gig!
Kenny Scheck once hid in a closet to find out which of my bosses liked me, and which did not. I was saddened by the results.
Kenny Scheck once invented the "Hammer".
Kenny Scheck once stayed in for the evening. It was a Tuesday, I believe.
Kenny Scheck once rode a roller coaster and got sick.
Kenny Scheck once met Greg Hartsfeldt. Remember Greg Hartsfeldt? Whatever happened to Greg Hartsfeldt?
Kenny Scheck once swam across the English Channel. I don't see what the big hullabaloo is.
Kenny Scheck once had a love child with Julia Child. Child's child we called it. Then we left it in some back alley or something, I don't know get off my back.
Kenny Scheck once lived in Boston, MA. Weird that nothing really happened in that 4-year stretch.
Kenny Scheck once killed a drifter. Cleaning up after him was a real bitch...I mean...was this guy MADE of blood? (Ben Tremaglio and Austin Jay will be joining him if they don't leave my gimmick alone).
Kenny Scheck once played an extra on the Golden Girls. Lets just say things got a little...weird.
Kenny Scheck once paid the pizza delivery guy in crack. I haven't seen that same delivery guy since.
Kenny Scheck once called Freddley Starfmark in Human Resources Tom by mistake. We all had a real good laugh that day I can tell you!
Kenny Scheck once played a villain on the 'Batman' television series, which aired on ABC from 1966-1968. I played 'The Varnisher," who varnished wood...evil wood.
Kenny Scheck once got stranded on a deserted island. 15 minutes later they found me, which was good, because I don't if I could have survived alone on a deserted island.
Kenny Scheck once spent 3 months 12 days living with Gorillas in an African jungle. Gorillas know how to live baby!
Kenny Scheck once got nominated for Best Picture at the Oscars. Apparently anything can be!
Kenny Scheck once got sworn in as President of the United States for about two minutes before they realized Johnson was in the toilet. Most successful Presidency ever.
Kenny Scheck once retired to Shady Oaks Home for the Inevitably Dying. A good chunk of my time was spent waiting for my kids to call, but I also wrote these memoirs there. Before dying.
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