So I thought tonight I'd share a little extra something from my Creative Writing class. This a "monologue" written from the perspective of the main character of my first short story. This was an exercise for us to get to know our characters. Full credit to Jim Gaffigan for inspiring my Arbys stuff...over all I didn't take it too seriously. Enjoy.
Monologue – Thoughts of Melvin
Did I go to Arbys twice yesterday? I have got to get home and feed Reynold. I don’t think I’ve fed him for at least two days. He has to be starving. He’s probably floating by now. That’s what happened Jengles. And Gary. I forget to feed to often. I should really just stop buying new pet fish. I think I’m losing interest in the hobby. I should stop making friends with underwater dwellers, and maybe find a human friend. Someone I didn’t purchase in a dimly lit store. What was with that dream last night, where I’m in the supermarket, the Acme? Well its Acme, but its not Acme…its like playing Acme. That giant rat ate Jim. Why would I dream about Jim? I haven’t spoken to him in years. Last time we spoke was at mom’s funeral; even then it was just mild pleasantries. We haven’t had a good long conversation for a good long time. Some brothers are just that way I guess. In Celsius, 0 degrees is freezing, 100 degrees is boiling. Now in America our standard is Fahrenheit, in which freezing is 32 and boiling is 212. This is quite possibly the most random assortment of numbers applied to anything anywhere. From this moment forward, I am running on Celsius. I’m also going metric. Everything is just multiplied by or divided by ten. That’s a lot easier than this inches and feet thing. We like to complicate things in this country. How is it that the country of my birth does not use the metric system, a simple and easy system that every country in the world has adopted…except a couple of third world countries. What if I start worshiping the sun. Its rather dull having no religion and the sun seems as good a thing as any to worship. Its only the source of all life on this planet, helps us grow, keeps us alive, gives energy to all creatures great and small. Not to mention photosynthesis. Yeah. Sun worshipping. That’s for me. Wait a minute – did I go to Arbys twice yesterday? Or did I just make that up. Now I’m confused. I definitely had it for lunch. What did I have for dinner? I was watching Judge Judy, and in the middle of the case I left…where did I go? Did I get Arbys again? If I had four roast beef sandwiches than that is just pathetic. I need to start paying more attention to what I eat. That’s too expensive. Arbys costs an arm and a leg. $7.50 for a sandwich some curly fries and a medium drink? That’s not even a large order of curly fries or a large drink. Medium! I can’t afford that. I hope I didn’t go to Arbys twice. I am never going to get home if I do not start focusing. Come on Melvin! Pull it together. Get this report done, and you can punch out, head home, and finally feed Reynold.
Monologue – Thoughts of Melvin
Did I go to Arbys twice yesterday? I have got to get home and feed Reynold. I don’t think I’ve fed him for at least two days. He has to be starving. He’s probably floating by now. That’s what happened Jengles. And Gary. I forget to feed to often. I should really just stop buying new pet fish. I think I’m losing interest in the hobby. I should stop making friends with underwater dwellers, and maybe find a human friend. Someone I didn’t purchase in a dimly lit store. What was with that dream last night, where I’m in the supermarket, the Acme? Well its Acme, but its not Acme…its like playing Acme. That giant rat ate Jim. Why would I dream about Jim? I haven’t spoken to him in years. Last time we spoke was at mom’s funeral; even then it was just mild pleasantries. We haven’t had a good long conversation for a good long time. Some brothers are just that way I guess. In Celsius, 0 degrees is freezing, 100 degrees is boiling. Now in America our standard is Fahrenheit, in which freezing is 32 and boiling is 212. This is quite possibly the most random assortment of numbers applied to anything anywhere. From this moment forward, I am running on Celsius. I’m also going metric. Everything is just multiplied by or divided by ten. That’s a lot easier than this inches and feet thing. We like to complicate things in this country. How is it that the country of my birth does not use the metric system, a simple and easy system that every country in the world has adopted…except a couple of third world countries. What if I start worshiping the sun. Its rather dull having no religion and the sun seems as good a thing as any to worship. Its only the source of all life on this planet, helps us grow, keeps us alive, gives energy to all creatures great and small. Not to mention photosynthesis. Yeah. Sun worshipping. That’s for me. Wait a minute – did I go to Arbys twice yesterday? Or did I just make that up. Now I’m confused. I definitely had it for lunch. What did I have for dinner? I was watching Judge Judy, and in the middle of the case I left…where did I go? Did I get Arbys again? If I had four roast beef sandwiches than that is just pathetic. I need to start paying more attention to what I eat. That’s too expensive. Arbys costs an arm and a leg. $7.50 for a sandwich some curly fries and a medium drink? That’s not even a large order of curly fries or a large drink. Medium! I can’t afford that. I hope I didn’t go to Arbys twice. I am never going to get home if I do not start focusing. Come on Melvin! Pull it together. Get this report done, and you can punch out, head home, and finally feed Reynold.
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